Beginning writers often make the mistake of telling the reader what happened rather than showing them.

Lina felt like she was going to lose control at any moment. She tried her best to hide it from the uninvited guests who had dropped in for a soda and some gossip. Lina wished they would just disappear.

This is telling not showing. It is far more interesting to show your reader how Lina is feeling.

Lina steadied her hand as she started to flip the tab on the Coke that Liz had requested. She tried to resist the urge to shake the soda, pop the tab and let the carbonation chase her neighbor out.

"Hope you don't mind me stopping." Liz offered with a coy smile and shoulders shrugged.

"Nah," said Lina as she held out the Coke can that had a slight dent from where it had accidentally fallen off the tray before coming into the room.

JEllisEng10ShowvsTell from Teacher 2 Open High School on Vimeo.

Last modified: Tuesday, 17 December 2013, 1:32 PM